When it hits close to home
You turn your phone face down at dinner. A minute later you turn it back over. Someone across the table is still telling you something you wanted to hear.
An illustrative story
Sarah is a journalist in New York. She spends her workday asking who saw what, who confirmed it, and what can be published. At dinner a friend starts telling her about a new job. Sarah turns her phone face down. A minute later she flips it over. “Sorry. I just want to see if there’s an update.”
She’s tried turning off notifications. She still reaches for the phone when she’s waiting for the kettle or when she wakes up at two. What if something really does happen and she’s the last to know? What if there was something she could have done?
On the walk home she can tell you which official issued a statement and when. She can’t remember where her friend’s new job is. She had been looking forward to that dinner all week.
Sarah knows what a useful update looks like at work. At dinner the goal gets harder to name. She’s looking for the moment when she can put the phone down and feel sure she hasn’t missed anything she’ll regret missing.
An update can quiet the worry for a few minutes. Then there’s another thing she could check. It matters that she’s good at this. A skill she trusts has quietly taken on a job it can never finish.
A local emergency alert might change what Sarah does right away. A fresh opinion about a threat she’s been reading about all day can wait. She can choose where she’d hear about the first and when she’ll make time for the second. Then she has a reason to put the phone down, even if she still feels the urge to look.
What the book helps you change
In What to Do When the Aliens Show Up (and Even If They Don’t), Sven Masterson asks how you’d decide what to believe if the biggest story in the world broke tomorrow. The book brings that question into your actual day. It helps you notice what urgency does to your judgment, decide what information is worth acting on, and give your attention back to the people and work you care about while the story is still unfolding.
FromOpening the feed every time you feel uneasy
ToChecking a source for a question you can name
FromReading every new take as a sign something has changed
ToLooking for what’s actually been confirmed
FromFeeling responsible for keeping up with everything
ToDeciding what would call for action on your part
FromGiving half your attention to dinner and half to the world
ToPutting your phone away long enough to hear your friend’s good news
Picture the biggest story in the world breaking while you’re trying to have dinner. That’s the tension I’m interested in. The book helps you tell when you’re looking for information you can use and when you’re hoping the next update will finally let you relax.
You can decide what kind of update is worth your attention and when you’ll look for it. The book helps with the harder part too, which is coming back to dinner while part of you still wants to check.
The book helps you understand how urgency makes a claim feel as though it deserves an immediate response. It gives you ways to decide what information could change your choices, then return to the people and work you care about before you feel completely caught up.
If you know which headline you read at dinner but can’t remember what your friend said, read it with that evening in mind. You can stay informed and still hear the news that matters to the person across from you.