When it hits close to home
You got the promotion. Someone you love wants to take you out to celebrate. On the drive home, you’re thinking about the colleague who got there two years sooner.
An illustrative story
Daniel gets a promotion. He calls his wife, who says they should go out to celebrate. On the drive home he remembers that someone he started with made director two years ago.
At dinner his wife asks what he’s proudest of. He has an answer ready for what he’d do differently. It takes him a while to come up with one for her question.
He likes his work. He also misses having a Saturday that feels good before he’s crossed something off a list.
Daniel knows how to get better at his job. That ability has served him well. But when the next title is supposed to settle a question about his worth, he has a reason to start chasing it the minute the celebration begins.
His wife’s question at dinner is hard because he spends so little time considering what he values about what he’s done. Most of his attention goes to what someone might still find missing.
Daniel can take a minute to tell his wife what the promotion took and what he’s glad he did. Later he can decide whether he even wants the job he’s been using to measure himself against his old colleague.
What the book helps you change
In What to Do When the Aliens Show Up (and Even If They Don’t), Sven Masterson asks what happens when the standards you’ve relied on stop telling you how to live. The book helps you examine what you’re trying to prove and choose what deserves your ambition, your time, and your attention.
FromChecking who got there sooner
ToRemembering what it took you to get here
FromAnswering a compliment with what you could’ve done better
ToSaying thank you and letting the moment land
FromTreating time off as something you have to earn again
ToMaking a Saturday plan you’re happy to keep
FromChasing a title because someone else has it
ToDeciding what kind of work you actually want next
The alien story asks what you’d trust if the rules you’d counted on stopped making sense. If you keep hitting goals and feeling behind anyway, it’s worth looking at who set the standard and what you hoped meeting it would give you. The book helps you ask those questions about your own work and life.
Of course. You might find there’s work you’d happily put your whole heart into once you’ve had a chance to ask what you actually want from it.
The book helps you look at how expectations acquire authority and how quickly you can take a moving standard for a fact about yourself. You can keep doing work you respect and learn to recognize when the goal you’re pursuing came from someone else’s scoreboard.
If your first thought after a win is already about the next one, read it with a goal you reached and barely got to enjoy. There’s something to learn from the way you moved on.