Meet Nora
An illustrative story
Nora used to call her dad on Sundays. He’d tell her what he’d cooked and ask how her car was running. Now she often gets a link before breakfast and another before lunch.
Last Sunday she picked up ready to explain why a clip was misleading. He heard her out for about thirty seconds, then asked if she thought he was stupid. By the time they hung up, neither of them knew how the other was doing.
She misses her dad. She also dreads answering the phone, and he can tell she’s calling less.
The argument has become a test of the relationship
When Nora checks a claim, she thinks she’s doing what she’d want someone to do for her. Her dad hears it as a question about whether she still respects his judgment. And when he sends another clip, she starts to wonder whether he wants to talk to her or just wants her to agree.
Once every link carries that much, even a small correction can take up the entire call. They’re both trying to be heard, and both end up with one more reason to call less often.
What would you like your next call to be about?
Nora can ask what worried him about one clip. If the discussion takes over again, she can say, “I’ve got ten more minutes and I’d like to hear how your week went.” He may still want to keep talking about the video. She can decide when to end the call and call again another Sunday.