Meet Rachel
An illustrative story
Rachel sits in the church parking lot watching people walk in. She knows who’ll save her a seat. She also knows which questions she’s learned to keep to herself if she wants coffee afterward to feel easy.
She’s tried taking a Sunday off. She misses singing with everyone. She’s tried going every week. She catches herself saying things she hasn’t believed for a while. Some days she calls it deconstructing. Most days she just wonders if she’s making a terrible mistake.
She still loves people in that room. The longer she tries to settle everything alone, the harder it gets to talk to any of them about the part of her life they used to share.
A change in belief can put belonging on the line
Rachel’s fear of being wrong has more than one source. There’s what she was taught could happen if she walked away, and there’s what she can already picture happening next Sunday. She might lose the room where people know her and the friendships she’s counted on for years.
When those fears travel together, every theological question can feel as if it comes with a decision about whom she’ll get to keep in her life. No wonder she wants an answer before she opens the car door.
Who could hear one honest sentence?
Rachel might tell a friend, “I don’t know if I can keep coming, and I’d still like to see you.” That conversation can tell her something about the friendship even if it leaves the bigger questions open.