What to Do When the Aliens Show Up (and Even If They Don’t)

When it hits close to home

Why do I feel like God is disappointed in me?

Someone asks how you’ve been. You almost say you’re having a hard time praying. Then you wonder what it says about you that you’re having a hard time at all.

Meet Miguel

An illustrative story

Miguel teaches in Bogotá. The last student leaves, and he sits at his desk with a stack of notebooks. His phone buzzes. A friend from church asks how he’s been. He types, “Honestly, I’m having a hard time praying lately.” Then he deletes it and sends, “Doing well, thanks.”

He’s tried praying more. He’s volunteered when he wanted a Saturday to himself. Sometimes he wonders what he believes about God, and sometimes he’s too worried about what the question might say about him to finish asking it.

His friend thinks he’s doing fine. Miguel goes home feeling alone and a little guilty that he wanted someone to ask again.

Guilt can make every question sound like an accusation

Miguel has long taken guilt as a signal to look at his conduct. That can be useful when he’s done something he wants to put right. It gets harder when the feeling comes simply because he needs rest or has a question he can’t answer.

If every uncomfortable feeling sends him looking for a fault, he’ll usually find something to scrutinize. Meanwhile the people he trusts keep hearing that he’s fine and have little chance to know him where he’s struggling.

What are you actually responsible for?

If Miguel spoke sharply to a student, he can go back and make it right. If he’s tired and needs an afternoon to himself, there may be nothing to repair. He can also tell a trusted friend what he’s been wrestling with and give himself time to hear what he really thinks.

What the book helps you change

What could be different?

What to Do When the Aliens Show Up (and Even If They Don’t) asks what happens when something you’ve trusted comes into question. Sven Masterson brings that into faith and ordinary relationships by asking how you tell the difference between guilt, something you were taught to fear, and a responsibility you want to own. The book gives you room to take your beliefs seriously, ask a question all the way through, and stay connected to people while you work out what you believe.

  • FromTaking every guilty feeling as a verdict

    ToChecking whether there’s something specific to make right

  • FromVolunteering because you’re afraid to say no

    ToGiving what you can offer freely

  • FromEditing out your doubts before anyone hears them

    ToLetting a trusted friend hear one honest question

  • FromWaiting until you’ve settled what you believe to live fully

    ToMaking room for rest, friendship, and joy while you work it out

A couple of questions about the book

What does a book about aliens have to do with feeling like God is disappointed in me?

The alien story asks why we give some voices so much authority. That question can feel close to home if guilt speaks up every time you rest or doubt something. The book helps you ask where that voice got its authority and whether there’s anything you actually want to make right.

Is there room for faith in that conversation?

Yes. You can care about your relationship with God and still be honest about a question or a need. The book gives you room to look at both.

Read more about where faith fits in the book.

Find out what the guilt is asking of you

The book helps you examine where an expectation came from and whether it reflects a responsibility you actually want to own. That gives you room to make amends when you need to and speak honestly about a question that deserves more time.

If you’re tired of telling people you’re doing well before you’ve even thought about the answer, read it with one conversation in mind. What would you say if you could finish the sentence?

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